Twenty Twenty-Three
“Tell us your name and what the Lord has done for you in 5 minutes.”
Hello everyone. I’m Dammy, and I survived 2023.
I went on a rollercoaster ride at Hyde Park Winter Wonderland this November. As I gripped the safety bar, plunging down stomach-dropping dips and spiralling up to dizzying heights, it struck me — this was the perfect metaphor for my 2023. Sudden plunges into uncertainty, soaring back up with hope, smooth straightaways to catch my breath. One wild, often scary, but thrilling ride.
It was relatively tough to write this review because fragmented memories clouded my attempts to chronicle it. Journaling consistently was impossible because I only remembered once or twice a month. I am sitting in front of my laptop now, trying to replay the year visually. I can’t say I did anything differently from the previous year. Still, this year had its own experiences. Many were new, and some were similar to years before. I detailed each month in my 26th birthday post.
Contrary to most people, I didn’t start with high hopes and resolutions. 2023 started on a challenging note, and halfway through January, I wanted to die. January began with a bitter taste and a deep, dark abyss. Rock bottom, as they say, is real. But February, like a guardian angel, arrived and whispered, “Wake up, Dammy. There’s more to see.”
One word to describe 2023?
Serendipity.
On Wins
Every year, I celebrate the phenomenal humans who make this journey called life worth living. 2023 was no different. I was carried through in the arms of love and care — old friends, family, cherished companions, and new connections forged in new lands. They saw, understood, and chose to love me in my messy, complex entirety. It’s a humbling gift, this tapestry of friendships woven with laughter, tears, and unwavering support.
Again, we need people in our lives. I don’t believe we were meant to do this life thing alone. With the multitude of proposals popping up on social media these days, it is nice to see people find their permanent persons. I cannot wait to experience that.
But friendships, like gardens, need tending. The intentions I have towards friendships are honestly genuine. However, this year exhausted me, and I felt I was giving more effort than receiving. Some friendships stretched thin, tested by distance and differing rhythms. To those friends, I offer my sincerest apologies. Forgive me for not always showing up as I wanted to. Yet, the desire for intimacy remains strong. In 2024, let us vow to nurture these bonds, invest more, and be the friends we long to be.
My mental health has stayed relatively stable this year. I’m proud of the small victories — fewer panic attacks, better sleep, and a growing comfort with expressing my emotions. However, moving stirred up acute loneliness I hadn’t anticipated. I missed home a lot and cried through my first two weeks. Winter came with seasonal depression, which was quite a frustrating experience. I couldn’t make sense of it early. I was advised to take walks, spend time with people, and use Vitamin D. I also found joy in music and open conversations. Therapy is on the horizon as well.
We don’t give ourselves enough credit for navigating living as an adult. It is hard balancing everything, and I am super proud of myself (and you reading this) for successfully doing it each year. I took each day at a time and tried not to stress over things I had little control over.
This year was a symphony of serendipitous moments. A global tech talent endorsement, a Tier 1 UK visa, and a landing in a city that now feels like home. Seven countries explored, new cultures embraced, and a gradual, joyful integration into the London space. I have found my people here, my dream apartment, a job I like and a purpose for existing.
Dinma brought me on board her dreams, and we have successfully run the Design Chics community since March. I crossed 4,800 minutes of mentorship on ADPlist. My side project, Album Colors, got a website in collaboration with Dayo Awobeku. Contributing to the lives of fellow designers is a source of immense joy, and a reminder that even my small brushstrokes can paint a brighter picture for others.
On Failures and Ls
It thrills me to write that my failures from this year were short-lived. Honestly though, could I ask for a richer year? I had a lot of rejections and disappointments, but I blindly trusted that things would work out and they did in the end.
Last year, I wrote about how I failed to achieve the goals I wanted. My newfound trick is that you can’t fail to achieve goals if you don’t have any. The inability to leave Nigeria in 2022 became the springboard for a leap across the Atlantic in 2023. Job offers replaced the rejection emails from job applications.
The world generally had a major L. I found myself tuning out the endless news cycle, overwhelmed by the negativity. Countries must be kinder to themselves, and global leaders need to mend the cracks in our world. The world is falling apart, and it is heartbreaking to see.
On Personal Life
January 1st found me weeping through the day. The reality of the year dawned on me in the first week, and I felt hopeless. I was 25, heartbroken, had a work contract that got rescinded, technically unemployed and somewhat in debt. But my friends, those anchors of love, refused to let me sink. They held me afloat, offering comfort, laughter, and unwavering belief. That glimmer of hope became a lifeline, propelling me through those dark weeks until February painted the world with brighter hues.
Processing my past, with all its complexities, has been a journey of vulnerability and self-discovery. I hold myself accountable for choices that shaped my path, while forgiving myself for not knowing better. 2023 was a year of embracing all the shades of the emotional spectrum — from bone-crushing sadness to unrestrained laughter, from quiet disappointment to the thrill of living every moment to the fullest.
This year, my physical health was better overall. I had the laser eye surgery done, and my vision became 20/20 overnight. In September, I caught Covid for the second time. I hated being in that state and caring for myself without any assistance. I joined the gym and managed to be consistent in the first quarter. To the glory of God, my body is still banging, and I intend to set better gym goals in 2024.
I loved and was loved this year. It’s a blessing to feel the warmth of love in its fullness coursing through one’s chest. Being intentional about how I express love and regard those who love me. Love is the closest thing we have to magic.
2023 taught me to slow down and relish the goodness of life. It can be easy to get caught up in comparison or unfulfilling thoughts at the end of the year. The anxieties that once consumed me, I realize often resolve themselves in due time. Life is a river of shifting currents, and I’m learning to navigate its rapids with grace, letting go of control and embracing the unexpected.
Yet again, I am making no concrete plans for 2024. I want the year to shock me in a good way, please. I want to be more intentional about living. 2023 showed me that life really is fickle and nothing lasts forever. I won’t hold onto rigid plans but strive to be intentional in my living. I’ll love my people fiercely, nurture my friendships, and continue to paint my own vibrant corner of the world.
In the end, all I have is this one precious life, and I intend to live it to the fullest, embracing the rollercoaster ride with gratitude, resilience, and a wide-open heart.
In 2024, may our lives be good, joyful and full of sweetness. Amen. Amen.
December 31. 08:36 am.