Everglow

(Psst! Had a different post in the drafts for this month which was an anniversary post for one year of being a designer. However, I will post perhaps on some other day as the times are not exactly celebratory right now. Still, hurray for small wins. Have a parfait on my behalf).

And you’re with me wherever I go
And you give me this feeling, this everglow

What I wouldn’t give for just a moment to hold
Because, I live for this feeling, this everglow

So if you love someone, you should let them know
Oh, the light that you gave me will everglow

The somewhat sorrowful voice of Chris Martin on Coldplay’s Everglow about losing something, someone that gave an everglow feeling makes it one that is just impressionable.

An everglow leaves one radiant and when it is gone, there is a noticeable difference. Wallowing in sadness when one is broken makes them a shadow of themselves for a while. It feels pretty much like a part of oneself is gone, like one has lost will to live. But invariably, people/things come and go. This is yet another lesson this year has taught me.

Losses and forgiveness are concepts which I am yet to fully come to terms with. The former being one that comes too sudden and the latter takes time to deal with, especially when the hurt is deep.

Whether it is the end of a relationship, or the passing of a family member, neither are easy to deal with. Random, but it was my grandmother’s birthday on the 13th of this month and I really do miss her.

One type of loss people rarely talk about is that of hope.

Over the past week, it has dawned fully on me the fact that life is indeed just one pointless sojourn and people can be indeed just terrible. I reside in a country where the leaders would rather have a fill of power and money than empathy for their fellow humans. Mind you, these are people who the masses put their trust into to protect and oversee them when they vote for them.

We have seen the death of innocent Nigerian protesters from the #EndSARS movement being invalidated and events that happened before our very own eyes have been made out into lies by the leaders of several government units in the country. A moment of silence for those who we’ve lost.

I have very little hope in Nigeria. I feel sorry for myself and everyone else who thought things could actually change. Our initial energy towards making a change seems to have dwindled down and I hate that we have to go back to the old life we are used to. I understand now the despondence the older generation feel when talks about change is ongoing.

This whole year has been one wild cruise. A lot of unexpected events. Everything took a different turn starting from Corona happening to Kobe’s death. 2020 has been one crazy sequence of happenings but this point is perhaps the most emotionally, physically and psychologically draining.

As I write this, I am merely like several people, existing and taking tomorrow as it comes (while making moves to find our way out of this predicament).

Only those who are alive will live to fight another day. Can’t say if the dead are lucky or not as they do not have to deal with any of this. But we move.

Might not be the best person to say this, but I implore you to make every moment worth living because it really might be the last. Hug your loved ones tighter, reach out to your friends and be there for your family. Say the words you mean to say and do things you’ve been shying away from. Sending all my love to you and yours.

May we not lose our everglow.

October 24. 9:32pm.