Break Even

I.

The beginning,

we assume must always be good.

II.

You finally let yourself acknowledge,

that it is a new year.

It has been a couple of days,

but you have been stuck in a limbo.

III.

You tell Nenye you’ve been unable to breathe properly

“He was the air you were inhaling.”

She says with a chuckle.

The humour of sisterhood.

You don’t think she is wrong.

You used to randomly sniff him,

marvelling at the contrasting shape of your noses.

Yet the imagery of his brown eyes flashes through your mind.

Itching to hold out your hand,

to fall into his arms,

open your eyes,

to see yourself in a gallery you went to

and everything was alright.

IV.

Peter says love evolves,

and maybe it is for the best.

V.

You have been thinking a lot lately.

There has been a tightness in your chest,

that drinking water did not resolve.

An ache in your head,

that a good night’s rest did not take away.

VI.

“What am I supposed to say?

When I’m all choked up and you’re okay?”

The Script sings through the earphones.

VII.

You see yourself at the beach,

feet planted on the sandy shore.

Taking a step after the other forward,

until the water is over your head.

You do not make a sound,

you brace yourself to be overwhelmed,

not as hard as you fell for him.

VII

“If you are cold, I’ll keep you warm

If you are low, just hold on

because I will be your safety.”

Dido sings on.

VIII

You clutch your knees closer to your chest.

The sky is falling,

but you will be safe and sound.

January 23. 08:16pm.